Dementia a bad enemy.

3rd May 2011

Evie, my mother in-law who has lived with us over ten years has fallen and is in the hospital. As she lay at the foot of the stairs bleeding at 2.30 in the morning I feared for her future. I was also worried about my ability to care for her much longer with the dignity she deserves. Many times I was angry-confused and depleted by her behaviour these last 12 months until dementia was diagnosed.


So much made sense after the diagnosis as I watched this lady slipping further into confusion and at times unable to remember the simplest of things then snapping back to the one we have known for many years. I watch Evie with the girls who has become more of a friend than great-grandma as her childlike veil envelopes her frail frame and she argues with them as though an infant.

Dementia is a bad enemy to have – a confusing ally and strong contender for pushing one into the world of confusion. Some times I think its worse for the ones looking after them as it takes so much to understand its avenues as the sufferer becomes more lost and confused. I try very hard to be compassionate but at times I want to just run away and hide, as the burden seems heavy. But I know if we let Evie go into an old folks home she wouldn’t last 12 months.

It’s bad enough when she has gone into an old folks home for respite for a few weeks. They take over every thing and Evie loses the ability to be self sufficient, they bathe her give very little stimulation, I know that this is because there are many patient in any one home, but Evie needs to maintain her independence for as long as possible. We see a difference in her and the way she seems not to be able to do much at all. For this reason we haven’t sent her to respite for 12 months – because each time she returns it takes longer to get her back to bathing her self and mobilizing her. I hope she comes home but I also wonder if we are doing any good trying to maintain her independence at the cost of our own lives!  :cry:


One Response to “Dementia a bad enemy.”

  1. Sue Blake says:


    I am so sorry to read about Evie. I am sending you and your family lots of love and healing thoughts.


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