Thank you every one who has visited and left constructive advice about my site.

I have worked hard to try and express the mood and ambiance of my book and understand the contents of book is not for every one, but have to add that it has some pretty funny scenario and not all doom and gloom.

Abuse is never an easy subject and hard for others to understand but never the less a subject I believe has to be bought into the open for generations after us. I don't believe we will ever stop this crime but by speaking out and saying it did happen, and still is, we may be able to help the little people who are living with this daily.

My book is not about retribution but helping others who are still living under the cloud of this memory forced onto them by another. I struggled at times to finish the book and relived many harrowing images I thought I had buried within my self.

My aim for writing about my abuse and making it public is to hopefully allow others to read it and know that a road can be found to happiness, no matter what we have been made to endure through some one else's crimes there is a life after desolation.

Small voices that stand alone will one day reach each other and become an ocean of power, every wave starts as a ripple.

A House Full of Whispers is the first in a trilogy and an honest account of my life with the highs and lows. There is a path to redemption within my books for any who have walked a similar road I was lucky to be able to stop the dysfunctional lineage and my family and children's children, live a life all generations deserve. They have laughter and freedom and most importantly they have trust and confidence in all adults within there lives.

My abuser like so many never atoned for his crimes and his freedom still rages within. But like most paedophile he abused my innocence but never comprehended the adult who would eventual accuse. I am attending a March and Rally against all abuse on the 21st October 2006, to help bring this hidden crime against young and old into the open, and help others speak out against their pain. I will leave photos of the march for those who are interested

01st March 2007

I am a survivor of childhood abuse and have tried many times to get my case re-opened and charges bought against my abusers. My relentless quest is not driven by retribution but to see the animal that made me participate in depraved acts at age ten to sixteen placed on a registered so other little people will be some what protected against him.

I would also like to see the law changed and believe victims like my self, who can speak and describe their experiences without hysteria and calm understanding description, have the right to a polygraph test. I know as a child when I first made the accusations this would have been out of the question because the lie detector works on your inner psyche and the response to questions asked. At that time I was an emotional mess and would have failed along with my abuser……. But now when the truth lays between me and the night devil a polygraph should be made available to both.

Also I would like to see the law changed when the victim gives others names who can confirm the abuse but for reasons known only to them, they decide to lie for the paedophiles allowing them to re-offend. God only knows why a person should want to put this danger back on the streets and keep him there even though they know he is a monster.

Putting their own children and neighbours children in his shopping basket, I hope that my abuser has not abused others since and if he has how do my witnesses look into the eyes of that child and say. I could have stopped this by, JUST TELLING THE TRUTH. These witnesses should be made accountable and face prosecution for aiding and abetting this animal to re-offend and destroying another little innocent child’s future and future generations of its lineage.

I have written about my life as an accuser, yes an accuser because without the courts or some one admitting I am believed I will always been known as this. How sad that my childhood was terribly torn from me and my adult hood stained by the same.

My siblings have openly lied about many things especially my eldest and half heartedly tried to stop the publication of my book. He wrote to my publisher demanding it be pulled from the shelves because the author was a delusional idiot or words to that affect. Disillusions YES, an idiot who knows, but about the accusations always truthful I am what my family made me I am the reaction of what went on in my house of whispers.

I am hoping my abuser will come forwards and deny what I have accused him of……….See you in court Taffy……I will relish this and have waited many years to stand in front of my abuser strong, proud and no longer controlled by him. If I can sell my story and make money I will privately prosecute this person but will continue to seek legal help to attain this until, if ever I accomplish my goal. To my siblings I have only one message, god can see into your heart and soul and only he knows why you have chosen to deny me the right to justice.

Update Sat 21st August March and Rally London

I attended the March and Rally in London with many other survivors of abuse. It was one of the most exhilarating experiences of my life.

Photo's here, a kinship was felt by all who attended.

Trafalgar Square, London was awash with people and as I walked towards the microphone I was shaking so bad I was sure I would make a complete idiot of my self. Like so many others the words flowed and the audience listened as others spoke with dignity and courage about their pain.

I was amazed how many from the crowds came forwards and spoke for the first time about their experiences. You could feel the strength in the numbers and the atmosphere electric as people stood side by side in unity against this crime that still rages within our homes.

I will be attending next year and hope it will be a national March and Rally. I have listed the poem and speech I made and hope to be able to do the same next year.

Hello God my name is Tim will you open the gates and allow me in
My sins are sinful my life untold my story unheard from people back home
January nights are cold and bleak but in my sinful life the sun never peaked
I was given life to serve my masters throne he never allowed me a life of my own
I was born bad his only son mother caste me aside because she feared his tongue

His rage burns my body the night devil shouts
My life ebbs away without any doubts

Forgive me father even though I am twelve
I have reached your gates after his rage made me fell

I feel peace in my soul and my spirit runs free to be just like the other kids, to just be me
My son you have not burdened my time at these gates they were never closed, and I never hate.
Even your night devil has a choice to atone he is the sinful one your nights he bestowed.
Your mother is waiting for your return your time is not now the night devils been hurt
He is waiting to ask to be let in you my son will have a new life to begin
Echoes of pain will always remain but you and your mother have brighter new days.
I watched as the lord got smaller in size I crashed back to earth with tears in my eyes.

Mother had stopped the devil that night as he once more raised the hammer upright.
She hit him hard his soul left this land he now has to atone his sins that he planned
I awaken from my coma mother holding me tight crying tears of sorrow for what happened that night
I now walk tall my god understands I was a child ruined by a weak old man.

Sw©2006

Copy of speech

Saturday 21st October 2006 is a date all the oppressed can be heard as a child alone we had no voice and no debating skills.

As adults we can speak and grow strong united with others to stop this terrible crime against the generations who follow.

One voice that sings alone is unheard from the pulpits until a chore sings the chorus and brings the roof down.

Those among us who have survived abuse from the weaker humans who walk this plain will speak and be heard and take our fight to the highest pulpit, and be the voice and strength of all brothers and sisters who still live with fear of condemnation.

Join together in hope not anger, in love not hate, and in quiet contemplation's of the ways forwards for all our children's children.