After writing the first two titles in my ‘Whispers’ Trilogy, I  foolishly thought my abuser would stand tall and once again call me a  liar, resulting in him taking me to court for slander. I am a great believer in British justice and knew he would crumble in a Court of  Law. The truth has a way of coming out always sitting on simmer waiting for the pot to boil.

I looked into the polygraph test (the lie detector test) and wondered if it could be trusted  to speak the truth. I researched it and read a piece about sex offenders being polygraphed to see the likelihood of them re-offending when released back into society. If this was good enough for the Government then it was good enough to speak the truth for me.

I had been trying for many years to convince others that I was the  victim and survivor of serious abuse.  Because my allegations were  never believed over so many years, I did not get the help and counselling most abused people receive to  help them through there darkest hours.

Being believed is so very important to any survivor of childhood abuse  taking precedence over the abuser being punished. My alleged abuser  has mocked me and laughed in my face and even my own family have tormented me and  threatened me because of it.

My polygraph exam took 5 hours due to my having to disclose a particular act of sexual abuse. I was very frightened having to talk about such personal  detail to a stranger.  I had never disclosed to another living soul  what I told the examiner that day.  The graphic details needed for  specific questions ascertaining to my sexual abuse were hard to speak  about. My husband was about to listen to a detailed assault on my body  as a young child for the first time.

But I was determined for the truth to be heard by others so I sat in  the chair wired up to a machine that whirled my answers and would be  able to tell if I had indeed lied or was lying.

Was I emotional? Yes!!

Did I worry the results would not come out in my  favour? Yes I did!

Was it hard to undergo the Polygraph? Yes, it was possibly the hardest  thing I have ever done due to the graphic nature of questions asked.

I sat with my husband in an office and waited for the results. It was  hard facing him again after the earlier revelations. I was  scared he would look at me differently, but I was wrong on all counts. To my husband, and thankfully millions of others – ABUSE, is a word with  guessed images? But to a victim – it is an appalling sequence of  pictures and emotions played back like a video on rewind.

My husband had just had a glimpse into the atrocities I survived from  a sexual predator who thought it was okay to hunt me down and do as he  pleased.

The Polygrapher returned to the room accompanied by his wife and passed  me a piece of paper that told all in the room I was a none deceptive -  a truthful person.  The whole experience was horrific but so worth it.