Living the dream?

19th May 2011

I am doing something that I have wanted to do for years now. I wouldn’t say I am living the dream – far from it – I am expelling nightmares.

I have been told so many times to let my past go and to move on with my life by the very same people who have stood and argued because they were short-changed by a penny at the local shop. When buying a car we look around and we never choose to buy an old rusty bucket. When buying food we wouldn’t buy meat that was rotting and full of flies.

So, why don’t we look after our children meticulously and be super vigilant when we need a baby sitter, nursery or school? How many of us really listen to our children when they rush in from school excited about the day’s events.

Most of us are not bad parents – just busy ones – yet if the car alarm were set off we would rush out and make sure the car was safe. Do you see the point I am making here?

Child abuse is an act of cowardice by the abuser and can affect generations of the victim’s family.

You have to realize that when a paedophile ingratiates him/her self upon a family, it is done with meticulous planning by them. Abusing a child starts with knowing the child and gaining the trust of all around them. The devious deviants stalk there pray much like the leopard whose footprints are not heard until they strike.

It’s not our faults and not our responsibility nor our child’s when this hideous crime invades our lives. WHY?

Because when first told no one wants to admit it could have happened under his or her own roof, how could you not see this. But when you look back you realise that there was a brief moment when you thought something was not quite right within the relationship between the perpetrator and child. Yet you dismissed it as foolish and felt guilty for even thinking this ‘nice person’ before you would ‘stoop so low.’

All you can hope to achieve if your child makes an allegation of abuse is to make sure they are believed and safe with YOU. It’s very hard for anyone to speak out – even adults who are raped find it too hard to accuse because of being believed at times- so how can a child thrust into their darkest days comprehend the enormity of this act.

They have not  the confidence or intelligence and experience or language to explain.

Paedophiles don’t just touch a child in an adult way, they use brute force and psychological torture and they will use whatever means available to keep hurting the child and know that escaping justice will most likely be the outcome, even if caught BECAUSE it will hinge on their word against a child’s.

I don’t know what the answers are to this terrible act against children or how to stop it, but if we were more vigilant and learnt to go with our own gut feelings maybe we will make it that bit harder for these low life’s to carry on.

We teach our children all about ‘stranger danger‘ but the truth is abuse by a person they know is more likely to be the truth…

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