New Beginnings

30th March 2011

I have just received a phone call from my surgeon today cancelling an operation that he was due to perform tomorrow morning.  There are apparently no theatre staff available but when I explained my diagnosis of pneumonia he explained they would have cancelled anyway.

I am relieved yet disappointed but know of the rest of this week’s events to come are going to stretch me on a personal level as well as a business one. My new web site – this site you are now on – is to make sure I’m widely known as an inspirational speaker. My chosen career – the work I was born to do – is speaking to groups about emotive issues I have first-hand experience of.

I worry at times that I am going to let myself down.  I don’t think I conform to the typical polished speaker but I don’t want to be like anyone else. I’ve felt so much fear throughout my whole life.  I know that the pre presentation nerves are all part of doing this work.  If it didn’t matter my body would not be reminding me it does!

I often remind myself what brought me to this crossroads in my life to do even more speaking and what I have been born to do on a personal level. I never thought at my age 54, I would be expanding a career. I am also about to open a salon (fish pedicures – all the rage!) and another business venture too.  I have two little girls who need me to be strong (Skye and Sophia, my granddaughters, who I have special guardianship of) and they inspire me every day to provide a life for them that can be the best I can give.

My new website is an essential part of what my publicist calls ‘my platform!’ I know what she means.  We need to use technology to make ourselves easier to find by those looking for what we can offer.  It’s been a journey getting my new platform ready I can tell you but we’re here now.

I have lived my whole life struggling with my past and although the last ten years have been easier and my wounds from my childhood closed, they can still be opened enough to make me sore ‘at the drop of a hat’. I watch the news and weep.  I read the papers and hold my head in my hands.

I was lucky earlier this year to meet a woman who would be a Guardian Angel and help me to achieve what I have to date. Sue Blake has been my backbone, and someone, in this visibility venture and I trust her immensely. Trust has always been an issue for me but when I met Sue, in person, in Surrey in February 2011 (I travelled from Plymouth to meet with her and her team), I was immediately at ease and felt as though I had known her a long time. I am not a woman who believes in miracles and evolution is my forte but somehow I know our collaboration was meant to be.

Sue I thank you from the deepest corners of me heart x

My motivation to expand my speaking career is that I deeply want to be able to help others see that after the angriest of storms the sun always shines. Abusing a child is the weakest of things any animal can do. Excusing the abuse they cause a child because they were abused is abhorrent. How can someone use their alleged abuse to inflict this pain on another? Surely you would want to protect children from suffering your pain?

Quite bluntly, and my opinion is MY OPINION, there is NO EXCUSE for child molestation or for beating a child with your fists, or weapon until the child wants to die rather than go on — I have lived and breathed these situations as told in my books and was lucky to come away from it with my life — my night devil broke my bones – tore my childhood into threads – closed down my ability to trust and love — but he never got my soul!!!!

I have been shunned, beaten and abused by third generation of my abusers family. I took the Polygraph Test (highly unusual as a victim) to prove that my accounts in my two books were actual events and not that of a woman who was lying.

My abuser’s descriptions of me and his defence for my allegations is that I am mentally disturbed.  Rich huh!

I have offered my abuser to take the Polygraph I will pay for it!  He refuses. He’s always refused. Silence can speak volumes in some circumstances.  Don’t you agree?  All I want is to have him put on the Sex Offender Register.

And so as I venture forth with three exciting projects in my career this spring, (2011), with hope in my heart, Mike at my side, supportive friends and colleagues, I’m going for it!

Life is fickle and challenging – full of nice surprises too some of the time – and if I was told five years ago I would pass 50 and become a business woman, have two books published, speak publicly about my emotive issues and become motivational for many others – I would have said – NOT IN THIS LIFETIME!!!

But I am strong enough now.  I’m ready.

Be pleased for me.

See you soon.

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