Out with the old, in with the new

31st March 2011

I am multi-tasking with my web designer Nigel from Clarihon and my PR and good friend Sue Blake from Sue Blake Media. We are emailing at a furious rate watching my old site disappear and the one you read now standing proud in its place.

I haven’t been able to get excited about this new site and was worrying that maybe my past illness (pneumonia) had pulled me down more than I would admit. But reading through the old site I realised why. I am shrugging off the shackles of my past and saying farewell to an old friend.

My old site was the first step in me addressing my past experiences; it was a silent friend, my own Pandora’s box that kept all my words and memories safely tucked away. It featured solely on my abuse and was a hectic array of poetry blogs and non-sensible gobbledegook. I will  miss it and feel as though I am losing an old comrade. I was able to do battle and reach my goals.

New beginnings and new adventures are awaiting me I am listening to the girls playing upstairs in their room and chuckling to each other about a silly joke shared. I envy them their freedom to express and their honesty and ability to say how they feel and why without negative repercussions.

Mother-in-law is sat in her bedroom sewing and uninterested in this new website as dementia takes hold of her and her ability to laugh diminishes.

At present I await my youngest son, who is a sergeant in the armed forces, being deployed to Afghanistan within the coming month, and like most  mothers afraid of the outcome. My eldest son is hard at work and excited my operation has been cancelled today, he knows dinner will be cooked for him as usual.  Thursdays is his day for visiting and eating!

My second eldest son is somewhere in Devon and his addiction to class A drugs still present. I worry endlessly about him and wait for that dreaded knock on the door. Some times I feel anger towards him because I have a son who may give his life for his country, and another who may take his life for drugs. Both are at war one way or another.

My third eldest has just finished work and is on his way to visit and my fourth son I have not seen since last year. Mike, my husband, is making sure the house runs smoothly, so I sit here like lady muck whilst he makes me cups of tea.

So you the reader can see I am no different from you. I live the same  life as you. If I had to give anyone advice on dealing with sadness, loss, depression - Never judge yourself by someone else’s attainment to reach their goals.

One Response to “Out with the old, in with the new”

  1. Sue Blake says:

    Hi Sharon

    I have to say you’ve been amazing to work with and I am so pleased you contacted me back in January. You have a special message of hope and inspiration and I feel priviledged to be part of the team making you visible for it.

    You have my total commitment Sharon.

    I believe in your mission.

    xSue

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