Teenage years!

24th January 2021

13 years ago I was asked to look after a new born until she could be returned home. I watched this little scrap of a baby fight to survive her addiction of opiates and alcohol. She was a little fighter and after 6 weeks we eventually bought her home to her sister, who was a little toddler of 13 months  and had been with us just 6 weeks before baby was born.

Life was going to be a roller coaster of a ride, none of us could foresee the journey we had to travel with more lows than highs in the 1st few years. Sophia was a fighter and over came serious infections that ate into her skin, passed on by the birth canal. This little one was hospitalised for the 1st six months, on and off to have this vile skin disease treated. She endured 3 operations to cut out the bad bits and hopefully be able to be cured. She won the battle with such bravery I was in awe of her and her sister.

Both had arrived into my arms damaged in body and mind. The 1st 3 years where the worst as we tried to make the girls feel loved and valued in a world of pain they couldn’t explain, especially the eldest who had cigaret burns up and down her legs, bruising to her head and unable to sit up or eat solid food, she was 10 months old!

So our journey of kinship care had begun as days turned into months and the love I had as a nanny slowly turned into the love of a mummy. Feelings I fought for a long time, guilt when the little ones called me mummy, and Mike daddy. But both girls knew the dynamics of their birth from the get go, age appropriate of course.

Sophia is 13 years today and Skye 14 years last December I love both so deeply sometimes it takes my breath away, sometimes it scares the hell out of me as I do worry about their futures if we, Mike and myself- through illness, are no longer here.

The girls have lost so much through the years and their maternal side have all died, apart from an uncle. I know they feel anger and resentment from family members who died because of alcohol, drugs and bad lifestyles. What I didn’t pick up on was the fear Skye carried that she would be the same as her biological mum, and eventually die from an addiction she feared.

The only answer I could give

“just say no!”

it seems such a simple remedy but it’s the only way to stop addiction taking hold. If love alone could save them from making bad choices both girls would be completely fine. So I watch as Sophia opens her presents today  I am reminded of the journey both girls have travelled. I worry about their future I worry about every aspect of their lives, I wish I could secure them financially by buying a home for them, so they are never homeless, but that will never happen. So I have taught the girls to survive as best  I can. Instilling in them,  as long as they have each other, they will never truly be alone.

 

Happy birthday Sophia bring on the teenage years, I am ready!!!

myself-through

Leave a Reply

*